LinkedIn Etiquette

🧭 5 Cringe-Free Etiquette Rules

1. No email sign-offs in DMs → LinkedIn DMs are not formal letters. Treat them like a quick text to a new professional friend. Skip the “Warmly, [your name]” or “Best regards.” It makes the message feel stilted or stiff — and it takes up space. Just sign off naturally or not at all.
2. Personalize… but don’t creep → Yes, referencing something specific can help. But don’t overdo it with deep profile stalking or forced references. If you can’t find something natural to say, a clean LOI works great. Efficiency + humanity > gimmicky personalization.
3. Don’t pitch in message #1 → This is what’s known as a “pitch slap” — messaging someone new with a service offer before building any connection. It feels transactional, and it doesn’t convert well. Instead, introduce yourself first. Build the bridge before you drive the sales car across it.
4. Being casual = more trustworthy → People trust people, not scripts. You don’t have to perform professionalism to sound legit. Be friendly. Be clear. Use normal words. Talk like yourself — not like a corporate marketing email. This is especially important for neurodivergent freelancers: don’t mask your tone just to seem “correct.”
5. Assume good intent — not getting a reply ≠ they hate you → Most messages go unread. It’s not personal. It’s mistiming. LinkedIn isn’t ghosting like on a dating app — it’s business, and people are busy. Keep showing up, kindly following up, and being visible. That’s what builds relationships over time.

❓ Why Your DMs Aren’t Landing

Most DMs go unread — it’s not your fault.75% of DMs won’t get replies (or even read)It’s not rejection — it’s mistiming.Just because someone doesn’t respond, doesn’t mean they won’t become your client eventually. It’s about being in the right place @ the right time.Crickets are part of the process.It’s not ghosting the way it is on dating apps. This is business – it’s neutral and it’s not personal.Not all connection = conversion. You’re here to build a web, not chase a single win.Only ~25% of your connections will eventually convert. That’s normal and actually a super high conversion rate compared to: → social media marketing: 0.2% → email cold pitching: > 8% → email marketing: > 5%

So if 75% of messages don’t get replies, your job isn’t to get a yes — it’s to stay visible, helpful, and human until the timing aligns.

📩 The 6 Types of DMs to Send

1️⃣ Intro / LOI

“Hey [Name], I’m a freelance [title] for [type of biz]. I saw you’re [their role] at [their company]. I love getting to know [type of role they’re in]. Glad we could connect!”

2️⃣ Validation / Discovery

“Do you ever work with freelancers at [company]?”

3️⃣ Availability Update

“I’m taking on new clients in [month]. Need help with [service]?”

4️⃣ Discovery Call

“I’d love to chat more about your needs. You can book a free discovery call with me here: [link]”

5️⃣ Clips / Portfolio

“I think my most relevant portfolio piece for you would be this one: [link]

But you can view my whole portfolio here: [link]“

6️⃣ Coffee Chat

“Would you ever want to do a virtual coffee chat? I love getting to know [type of role they’re in].

You can pick a time here if you want!: [link]”

✨ Tone + Talk

• You don’t need to sound “professional.” You need to sound clear + kind.
• Emoji, exclamation marks, and casual intros? All good.
• Make your own mini brand voice guide so your messages feel like you.

1. Create a Mini Brand Voice Guide
2. Feed that + the GCG + this lesson into your AI:

Hey Chat, I’m going through my LinkedIn DMs and I need your help crafting responses. I’m going to feed you my brand voice guide, a guide to getting clients, and some linkedin etiquette rules in 3 separate messages after this. Then, I’ll give you context and ask for your help. Can you just digest all of this as I feed it to you and wait for me to ask for help, please?

1. Give it the context of your current conversation and the PDF of the person’s profile and ask for help drafting your DM.

Okay, I’m ready for your help. Here’s my situation: [context]. I’ve attached a PDF of their profile for you. Oh and [anything else you need to add].

🤖 AI is your assistant, not your replacement. Use it to get unstuck — not to hide behind.

💬 FAQs

• Do I still reach out to people who were recently laid off / “Open to Work”?

Short answer: Yes — but do it thoughtfully and humanely, not opportunistically.

Here’s how to do it well:

1. Track smartly. If someone’s status shows “Open to Work” or they’ve been laid off, note it in your Ideal Clients Tracker. Don’t treat it as a “hot lead” automatically — treat it as a human with a transition.
2. Send a gentle, value‑first DM.

“Hi [Name]! I noticed your recent update and wanted to say I admire the work you did at [Company]. If you ever want to brain‑dump ideas or just chat about what’s next, I’d love to connect. No agenda, just a coffee chat (virtual or real).”

3. Respect the timing. Someone newly laid off might still be processing, so don’t expect an immediate booking or conversion. Follow up later — strategically and kindly.
4. Move from relation to offer naturally. If they respond and you see a fit, you might later send:

“By the way — if you ever work with freelancers and your team could use [your service], I’d be happy to help. Here’s a link to my portfolio…”

But only after a real convo and relationship.

5. Never exploit vulnerability. Don’t pitch because someone’s in transition — that comes off opportunistic. Instead, be helpful, stay visible, and let your expert offers follow the human connection.

Why it works: The laid‑off person’s network often shifts. They’re open, potentially reachable, and looking for value, not the hard sell. If you approach respectfully, you might be the person they remember when they’re ready.

Why you must do it carefully: If you hit them too soon with a pitch — especially at a sensitive time — you risk coming off as transactional or tone‑deaf.

• When is it okay to DM someone I don’t know on LinkedIn?
• Always introduce yourself after you connect with someone you don’t know! This will break the ice, give them context, and potentially build trust.
• How soon should I follow‑up if someone didn’t respond to my first message?
• Follow our Get Clients cadence: 2 weeks, 2 weeks, 2 weeks, 3 months →
• What’s the difference between being personal vs being professional in a LinkedIn DM?
• It’s a fine line and everyone’s a little unique! But I have intentional boundaries set with what I’m willing and not willing to share on LI and that might be different for you. Personally I only share things relating to work. I only share major personal milestones when they affect my posting schedule or I’m super proud of them.
• Can I use emojis and informal language in my LinkedIn outreach?
• Yes!! I encourage you to! I wouldn’t recommend swearing. But emoji and saying things like “hundo P” and stuff is a great way to let your personality shine through! No Grammarly needed on LI.
• Is it rude if someone accepts my connection request but never replies to my message?
• Nope! Totally normal! The majority of my clients didn’t respond until my 5th or 6th message. And they still became my client! Don’t let a lack of replies discourage you. It’s about being in the right place at the right time and being helpful not super salesy or pushy. That’s why this is a numbers game.
• How many connection requests should I send per week without looking spammy?
• No one else can see how many connection requests you’re sending. So send as many as you can! But be targeted about them and track them in your Ideal Clients Tracker!! Do the math if you want specific numbers. But usually spending 2 hours a week at the beginning of your whole routine and then tapering over a year or two down to 30 mins a week works best.
• Should I ever send a pitch in my first message, or wait?
• No!! This is considered “pitch slapping.” ALWAYS wait until you’ve introduced yourself or reintroduced yourself, asked if they work with freelancers, and then pitch.
• What do I do when I get a reply, but it’s just ‘Thanks’ or ‘Interesting’—how do I take it forward?
• Consult that AI prompt I shared earlier, DM me for help, or do your best to reply! You can continue the conversation, answer their question, etc. If they don’t reply right away, follow up again in 2 weeks.
• What kind of content/commenting behavior looks authentic, and what looks like desperation?

Desperate = trying to get. Authentic = trying to give.

✅ Authentic Looks Like:

• Commenting with genuine curiosity or connection (e.g., “Loved your take on X — curious, how do you approach Y?”)
• Sharing a story, insight, or reflection that ties into your work or your ideal client’s challenges
• Posting with intention — even 1–2x/month is enough if it’s relevant
• Being helpful without an agenda (e.g., answering a question, recommending a tool, resource, or idea with no strings attached)

🚩 Desperation Looks Like:

• Commenting “great post!” everywhere without adding anything or just using AI to write your comments or just copying whatever was in the post and word for word repeating it back in the comments.
• Pitching in someone else’s comment section
• Tagging lots of people randomly
• Following up every 2 weeks forever
• Pitching in the first DM or even the “add a note”
• Is it okay to use automation/tools for LinkedIn outreach or will that kill my credibility?
• I don’t ever recommend this.
1. It makes it hard for you to track.
2. It’s not human and people will feel that.
3. It’s against LI’s rules to use automation tools and third party apps so you could lose your account completely.

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